Chris Croft
Tips of the Month Archive


Assertiveness Tip 12



       
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You dont have to justify how you feel

You are responsible

I notice, I interpret

Faulty thinking

Persist like when training a puppy!

Your daily refresher

How to change yourself the first way

How to change yourself the second way

Being yourself

Its never too late to go back

Banish guilt from your life

Aggression it might be you!

You reap what you sow

Psychological games players

There are always two ways to see things - examples

Start small and build up

Aggression - it might be you!

Assertiveness is often thought to be about being less submissive, and it is partly, but it's also about being less aggressive

Are YOU aggressive? Well, apart from the occasional loss of patience you probably think you're not. But......

Aggression is more than punching people, or shouting insults at them. It can be interrupting, ignoring, patronising, telling someone that they'll never learn something, stereotyping, insinuating, and using emotive words (for example someone makes a decision that turns out to be incorrect and you call it a crazy decision)

Borderline aggressive acts are things like being selfish or thoughtless (is it aggressive to finish the last chocolate biscuit? Well sort of, I would say. Is it aggressive to talk on the phone with a loud voice when others are trying to work nearby? Well, in the sense that aggression is about not respecting the rights of others, yes it is)

Oh dear! We all do these things sometimes, and I suppose the thing is to be more aware and try to reduce the habits. Not easy!

The flip side of this is to not let others get away with it, using assertiveness as the antidote to aggression. Calmly telling them that you are not happy with their behaviour. I wonder if we would welcome others reminding us when we lapse? I would like to hope so.....

Onwards towards perfection!

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