Here's a good assertiveness principle:
Start small and build up.
For example: Would you like to be better at saying no?
then start with saying no to small things, like no to the milkman for milk today, then no (not until tomorrow) to a request for some information, then no to an invitation for a party that you don't feel like going to, gradually building up to the big ones - like no to the in-laws for Christmas; or whatever your own personal Big One might be
(thanks to Val for reminding me of this one)
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