Chris Croft
Tips of the Month Archive

Assertiveness Tip 5


You dont have to justify how you feel

You are responsible

I notice, I interpret

Faulty thinking

Persist like when training a puppy!

Your daily refresher

How to change yourself the first way

How to change yourself the second way

Being yourself

Its never too late to go back

Banish guilt from your life

Aggression it might be you!

You reap what you sow

Psychological games players

There are always two ways to see things - examples

Start small and build up

Persist - you won't always get what you want first time.

When you get a new puppy, what will it probably do as soon as you get it home and put it on your living room carpet?


At this point, are you going to give up, saying 'It's just the kind of dog he is, I'll just have to live with poo on my carpet for the next 10 years'. Of course not! Yet this is what many people do with their bosses - they don't even try to change the situation.

What if you tell the puppy off and put him outside, and then the next day he does it again? Do you then say 'I've obviously got a duff one - I tried and he didn't listen, so I'll give up'. No! You have another go.

Again, many people with their bosses ask once and then give up.

Examples of things you might want to ask your boss to do / not do:
* involve you in decisions.* give you enough notice when asking for work to be done by a deadline.
* not interfere in a task once it is delegated to you.

Finally, imagine putting your dog outside 20 times and then, after the 21st poo on the carpet, giving up. When just one more time would have been enough. After 22 he would have got the message!

This just isn't going to happen, because you KNOW that you are going to keep going as many times as necessary. You won't tolerate failure!

Trying to change the habits of your boss, or a colleague, is similar. Of course they are (probably) more intelligent than the puppy, but because they are busy and have other priorities they may not do what you want straight away, even if they do honestly mean to. You will have to ask them again! And again!!

You'll be feeling that you're nagging, that they don't agree with you, or that you might upset them, but all of these are probably untrue. They probably honestly just forgot.

But even if they are unhappy about being 'nagged', the fact remains that if they said they would do it and then they didn't, that's not acceptable - and you are entitled to have another go.

So: You have a right to ask more than once.
Persist until you get what you want!
Don't give up after the first time of asking!

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