Chris Croft
Tips of the Month Archive

Assertiveness Tip 8


You dont have to justify how you feel

You are responsible

I notice, I interpret

Faulty thinking

Persist like when training a puppy!

Your daily refresher

How to change yourself the first way

How to change yourself the second way

Being yourself

Its never too late to go back

Banish guilt from your life

Aggression it might be you!

You reap what you sow

Psychological games players

There are always two ways to see things - examples

Start small and build up

Two ways to change yourself - part 2: "The second way"

We saw last time that the first way is to change the way you think by changing what you say to yourself in your head.

This second way is quite different - it is about setting yourself goals.

If you have a clear goal in mind your subconscious will take you there, and it will (in subtle ways) change your behaviour in order to get you there.

For example, why was Steve Redgrave so self-disciplined in doing all that rowing training? Obviously it was the objective of getting those gold medals that was the root of his self-discipline. Similarly you will be more assertive if you have a clear objective in mind. Without clear goals you will drift, and you are unlikely to be self-disciplined or assertive because why should you be?

Since Time management, managing others, and almost every skill depends on self discipline and assertiveness (all problems come either from yourself - lack of self discipline - or from others - lack of assertiveness) it is going to make a big difference to all of your performance in life if you can get these two qualities, and they both come from goals.

So all you have to do is do some serious thinking about where you want to go - where are you currently heading? Where would you like to be heading? Where do you want to be in 2 or 5 or 10 years a) in your job and b) in your personal life?

This is a good time of year to be thinking about this stuff. Remember that most new years resolutions are not effective because you're hoping to change your behaviour without changing yourself, and this isn't going to happen.

For detailed help on personal goals you can read chapter 2 (which is the bit about goals, obviously) of my book for free, as a downloadable pdf, by going to

but there's nothing magic about goal-setting. Just put 5 minutes aside and sit down with a blank sheet of paper and have some fun! It really will change your life - I know because I did it.

That's all for now. Onwards and upwards!

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