Chris Croft
Tips of the Month Archive

Assertiveness Tip 9


You dont have to justify how you feel

You are responsible

I notice, I interpret

Faulty thinking

Persist like when training a puppy!

Your daily refresher

How to change yourself the first way

How to change yourself the second way

Being yourself

Its never too late to go back

Banish guilt from your life

Aggression it might be you!

You reap what you sow

Psychological games players

There are always two ways to see things - examples

Start small and build up

Being Yourself

Some of this is rather philosophical and can't be proved, but I hope you find it interesting.

The key to assertiveness is being yourself. You can only be you, and ideally you would be the best you that you can be, giving 100%, and you would be pleased to be you. Not perfect of course, but doing the best you can.

Assertiveness often requires courage and honesty, and often, in organisations, so does being yourself.

To what extent are you able to be yourself in your current job? (and in your current relationships and social life for that matter)?

Do you find that in the past jobs where you've performed well and been happy, that you were able to be yourself? And also the reverse, did you find that in the jobs where you've been unhappy and/or performed badly that you were not able to be yourself?

You can't perform better than when you are able to be fully yourself. Every way in which you are unable to be yourself diminishes your performance.

By the way, this isn't against self-development. You can be you, and give 100%, but still develop yourself. You can be OK about yourself, and you can like yourself, but still develop yourself. Learning Italian, or Project Management, doesn't mean you don't like yourself at the moment!

What stops you being yourself? Maybe it's pressure to conform, pressure to do things in the way that the boss likes them, or maybe just perceived pressure which isn't really there (for example wanting people to like you, being afraid to take risks, etc.)

What would happen if you "dared to be yourself despite the system"?

If your organisation could not cope with you being yourself, do you want to work there? Would you be better off somewhere where you fit better, and would they be better off with someone who fitted without having to compromise themselves?

Conclusion: be yourself as much as you can, dare to be honest, and encourage others to do the same. Allow others to do the same. If you're a manager, make it part of your management style that you allow people to be themselves rather than trying to make them something they're not

Be yourself and give 100% Refuse to give less!

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